Lucifer Jones “The Real Devil”

Greetings my fellow minions, Lucifer Jones here, as most of you know,

I’ve been posting some funny little tid bits on Twitter @therealdevil Originally they were “Make The World More Evil”

then they evolved into “Spread More Evil” & “Make The World More Interesting” and a few other wordings.

Well, just for your viewing pleasure I will attempt to copy/paste all my current tweets of “Make The World More Interesting” here.

For the record 99% of these were written by yours truly AND I write them off the top of my devilish head lol

So without further ado, here we go…..

LUCIFER JONES PRESENTS: MAKE THE WORLD A MORE INTERESTING PLACE VOLUME TWO:

The following @therealdevil “Tweets” were written from July 11th - July 12th 2009 (Busy day lol)

• Make The World More Interesting: Call random ppl and tell them “No matter how hard you try, you just can’t unfuck a monkey!”
  
• Spread Some Evil: stick “For Sale” signs on random houses
  
• Spread Some Evil: Hand out pizza coupons at fat camps
  
• Spread Some Evil: tie blind people’s shoelaces together
  
• Spread Some Evil: tell small children Santa is not real…. go to the mall and rip their beards off
  
• Spread Some Evil: yell out the ending of movies IN LINE
  
• Spread Some Evil: drop stuffed puppies and baby dolls from freeway overpasses
  
• Spread Some Evil: goto nursing homes and convince ppl your their family, then tell them everyone hates them
  
• Spread Some Evil: send a box of pig’s blood to your Muslim neighbors
  
• Spread Some Evil: take a bath with your toaster
  
• Spread Some Evil: hand out rotten food to the homeless
  
• Spread Some Evil: send strippers to dance at a sexaholics meeting
  
• Spread Some Evil: Send strippers to dance at your neighbors 6 y/o kid birthday party
  
• Spread Some Evil: Send strippers to dance at the ICU ward of your local hospital
  
• Spread Some Evil: fill condoms with mayo, drop them from overpasses
  
• Spread Some Evil: dump buckets of your own urine into people’s swimming pools
  
• Spread Some Evil: catch your neighbors pet, shave it, then sneek it back to their yard
  
• Spread Some Evil: put ex-lax in your bake sale goodies
  
• Spread Some Evil: order gay porn, send to your grandma
  
• Spread Some Evil: find an Amish community, ask them if they have Wifi
  
• Spread Some Evil: shorten old people’s cane’s
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: adopt a child, then kick his ass out
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: cover your neighbor’s house in post-it-notes
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: cover your neighbor’s pets in peanut butter
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Put your penis on a leash and take it out for a walk
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: dress up like a chicken and stand in front of KFC screaming MURDER MURDER MURDER
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: make a coat out of used diapers, then sit on a crowded bus
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Knock on people’s doors, ask them if they’ve seen your dog, then yell I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING DOG!
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: yell at your houseplants (they like it!)
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: go to the store, take out every carton of milk and build a fort out of it, LIVE THERE!
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Call up the post office and tell them you can’t lick the George Bush Stamps…..
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Stand in front of the EGGS at the market with a sign “STOP ABORTION!”
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Hold a protest with BLANK SIGNS!
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: dress up like a bear and go to the zoo, wander around crying
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: wear a giant tin-foil hat and tell people “They are coming” when asked who yell PORN-STARS
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: swear at your breakfast cereal
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: go2 a gun store, buy a gun, bullets, then ask if they have any ski-masks
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: give candy-canes to diabetics
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Steal a blind man’s dog, replace it with a rock on a leash
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: put a voice activated moan on your toilet seat, scare your friends
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: go to jails and LAUGH at the inmates
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: send counterfeit money to “Feed The Children” and shoes with holes!
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: send 1,000 brussel sprouts to your kids school party
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: send HUGE flower bouquets to random people with a card that says “Sorry for the herpes”
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: walk your dog in public and yell at him for failing law school
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: find a yard full of junk and put a YARD SALE sign there
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: adopt a lepper, they’ll fall to pieces over you
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: ask people if they know how to get to sesame street
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Invite a hobo to the prom
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Invite a hobo to the free clinic
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: walk into a bar with a bloody tampon, ask for a cup of hot water for TEA!
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: kill yourself in public!
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: sell your imaginary friend on Ebay
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Tell People that Jesus is hiding under your couch
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: Call the police, tell them you got shity service at Burger King and you want to arrest the king!
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: go on a plane, then half way through the flight jump up and start screaming “ZOMBIE JESUS!”
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: light yourself on fire, and sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY (at the park)
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: have a Bar-B-Q in a crowded place, eat your food and talk about how much you miss your dog
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: adopt a highway, then move there, tell ppl “IT’S MY DAMN HIGHWAY!”
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: teewt sdrawkcab
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: give flowers to old women, and then thank them for last night
  
• Make The World A More Interesting Place: dress up like a smurf… that’s it DO IT !

To Be Continued Tomorrow

                 

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Tags: @therealdevi, comedy, funny, how to be evil, make the world more interesting, spread more evil, tweets, twitter

This entry was posted on Friday, August 7th, 2009 at 7:22 am and is filed under Twitter Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.